The Phantom we hide

I cried recently, well last night. I cried durring the performance of Phantom of the Opera, how many of us have been him (the phantom) having the person of your dreams right there filling you with there song making you feel like a man and not like a monster. Only to have it taken away (by any number of means) and than reducing yourself to the shadows once more in hopes of just seeing them hearing their sweet voice, but upon seeing or hearing you curse the darkness you put yourself in.

I did cry a second time this past nite. mabye it was stress related mabye it was brought on by heartache mabye both, she is so uniqe I am ashamed I didn't acknoledge it more in the past. That is why I cried the second time

As in somany fairytales and cinema weapons did very little but it was beauty that killed the beast

I myself am learning that I can stand tall though I just wish it didn't hurt to, there is only so long I will allow myself to be kept in the dark no matter how comforting it may apear to be.

A tale of two cities

Dam it I am so confused right now. I am going back to my hometown in a few short days but something makes me not want to I have settled in so well here in Vancouver and jobs have been comming my way that it's so hard to turn them down. so my thought became this "screw Kamloops" but then it's overturned with "what no way I gota go back" it's all very frustraiting and it's got me on edge and I have sort of snapped at a few people as of late.

So what do I do, I figure it'll be a comprimize for the most part of cutting my time in Kamloops Which pisses me off because I would like to spend some time there with my friends. which pisses me off because than it makes me feel like i'm just slaking and i want to work so it's frustrates me very much either way it's be fun but rough but hey at least i know i'll have some jobs waiting for me when i come back to Van