Problem Free...

To many people have an issue with free things.

Internally you say to yourself what's the catch...

What Do I have to give up in order to get this free thing. An example could be hanging out with someone you really don't want anything to do with, getting free coffee,movie,dinner,book,sex,clothes. your giving up your time to some asshole but the free stuff is just so worth it...right? that may be an extreme situation though. Us Jackanapes have hopefully evolved a little more in such a way as being able to turn down something that gives us nothing but a headache and the "I survived so and so" T-shirt. No one wants to get the short end of the stick even if it comes with "door number one door number two" type prizes. that's not the problem.

The problem I have is with the promotional free stuff, Or should I say the people moving past the promotional reps. When we, the apes of society are lumbering down the street, if someone goes to hand out something 90% of people look at them like they are begging for your petty change, plotting a grand heist to relieve you of your knock off Rolex watches, or are trying to give out free samples of syphilis. They are not. they may not even want to be there. they are the avatars of the "company" whomever it may be. So Take the Gum, Take the Pop, Take the Damn "Multi Use super absorbent never need another paper towel again" Cloth.

IT IS FREE.

–verb (used with object)
to make free; set at liberty; release from bondage, imprisonment, or restraint.

Embrace Free Events as well. No other type of situation brings together absolutely every type of personality like a free community event. Go to a club (of any sort but lets use a nightclub) there is a fee to get in. That alone stops some people from ever showing their face at said club. but something like a Free outdoor movie...Who doesn't like the idea of that! it brings out everyone from family's, drunks, bored kids, high kids the horny and the insane. Because anyone can go everyone does. If the movie isn't entertaining you enough, take a moment and look around. I'm sure the Drunk guy who fell onto the high kid who freaked out and scared the happy family might grab a chuckle or two out of you.

So enjoy all that you can gain for free because...

The GUM is cheering when you take it because it is now set at liberty! The POP is joyful because the bondage of store prices are released! The "Multi Use super absorbent never need another paper towel again" Cloth is Dancing in the street because it is free of it's imprisonment on your Television screen by it's cold abusive master Vince Shlomi.
So Free your Restraint and take that Hug,Cloth,Pop,Gum and Movie.

Be free! Be happy! and most of all,

relax.

Now get outta here.
I'm going to a movie.